17-year-old Lily Grunfeld survived the Holocaust by hiding in a crowded attic room in a burned-out building in Budapest. She was twice saved by Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg. Once when he issued false citizenship documents to Hungarian Jews in Hungary and, then again at the end of the war, when he convinced Nazi guards not to gun down the remaining 80,000 Jews still alive in the Budapest Ghetto.
After the war when Anyu returned to the home she had shared with her parents and siblings in a small Transylvanian village in Romania near the Hungarian border, it had been looted and almost everything was gone. Her parents and five siblings had died at Auschwitz. She had also lost aunts and cousins.
All that was left, tucked away out of sight in a drawer, was a spoon.
Grunfeld is turning 98 later this year. She doesn’t harbor bitterness and hatred—though who could blame her if she did? Even though after moving to the U.S. with her husband, she lost her oldest son who died of leukemia.
“My grandmother certainly has an incredible attitude and approach to life,” says Dan Grunfeld, author of “By the Grace of the Game: The Holocaust, a Basketball Legacy, and an Unprecedented American Dream” (Triumph Books 2022; $28) about the woman he calls Anyu (Hungarian for mother). “She believes it’s not what happens to you in life, it’s how you respond. She believes it’s important to be true to your values and who you are and to stay positive.”
Arriving in New York in 1964, the family including their surviving son Ernie and daughter Rebecca, didn’t know the language or customs of their new country. Eight-year-old Ernie also didn’t know anything about the game of basketball but he gravitated to the playgrounds of New York City where kids were shooting baskets. It was an opportunity, he thought, to learn English and to make friends.
It turned out to be more than that. Ernie Grunfeld was really, really good at this American game. So good in fact that within ten years of moving to the U.S. he had won two gold medals—one for playing basketball with Team USA at the 1975 Pan American Games and the other in the 1976 in the Summer Olympics in Montreal. Drafted into the NBA to play for Milwaukee Bucks, he went on to play for the Kansas City Kings and then the New York Knicks. Once his playing days were done, he worked in administration rising through the ranks to become president and general manager of the Knicks and then the general manager of the Bucks. He followed that up with 16 years as president of basketball operations for the Washington Wizards.
It was indeed a basketball family.
“My birth was planned around Judaism and basketball,” writes Dan Grunfeld in the opening paragraph of his book. “It’s an appropriate testament to what I was inheriting. When I was born in 1984, my dad was an NBA player for the New York Knicks. My parents scheduled my C-section delivery to take place between two long road trips so he could be present for both my birth and my bris, the Jewish ritual of circumcision on the eighth day of life. I’m sure thousands of Jews in New York City during the 1980s planned their sons’ bris ceremonies around Knicks games. My dad was almost certainly the only Jew actually playing in the Knicks game.”
Indeed, Ernie Grunfeld was the only child of Holocaust survivors to ever play in the NBA.
It’s Dan Grunfeld’s ability to move between the dark and light of life, a reflection surely of his grandmother’s philosophy, that makes this book so immensely readable. Dan Grunfeld also played basketball, both at Stanford University and then for nine years overseas professionally in Germany, Israel, and Spain. He even became a Romanian citizen to play in his grandmother’s native country.
“My first professional game was in Germany, I was probably the only player who called his grandmother and asked her if it was okay to play there,” says Grunfeld. Anyu, being Anyu, of course said yes, telling him that you can’t blame the sons for what the fathers did.
Growing up, Grunfeld was fascinated not only with his grandmother’s Eastern European cooking (“I eat so much sometimes that I get sick,” he says), but also, when he was old enough, her tales of those early days. Stanford was just 25 minutes from where she lived and he would take notes when they talked or at least when he wasn’t eating.
In that respect, he is unlike most of us who when young who don’t write things down and so lose the important stories of our elders. Indeed, I had a Romanian grandmother who loved to cook but I just ate and never recorded her times in her homeland and her journey to East Chicago and so all that is lost. Bravo to Grunfeld who felt that these stories were important enough to turn into a book. He did it for Anyu who doesn’t want people to forget the Holocaust and what happened to her family and so many families like hers. He did it to enshrine her story into written words. And he did it so that her courage could help all of us when things seem very dark.
“My grandmother certainly has an incredible attitude and approach to life,” he says. “She’s such a remarkable person. I say if my grandmother can survive and be like this than there is hope for all of us.”
When I ask Grunfeld if he misses basketball, he tells me that he misses what it was like playing the game when you’re playing at a high level and having success.
“I also understand that part of my life is over,” says Grunfeld who is married and is expecting the birth of his second son in a matter of weeks. “I’m at a point in my life where I realize I’m not coming back. But there are so many other ways you can integrate it into your life. You can watch it, read about it, and write about it.”
Which, of course, is what he did.
As for that spoon Anyu found. 75 years later she gave it to Dan who keeps it in the drawer next to his bed. Sometime in the future, it most likely will be passed on to Dan’s son Solomon, named after his grandfather who died at Auschwitz.
For Dan Grunfeld’s events, click here.
Shelf Life 
![](http://LaineyGossip.com is an entertainment news and gossip blog co-founded by Elaine "Lainey" Lui. The primary voice of LaineyGossip.com, she is also co-host of CTV's daytime talk show "The Social", and a reporter on CTV's "etalk", Canada's number one rated entertainment news show. The site started as an email to small group of friends and colleagues in 2003 and spread by word of mouth to thousands of now loyal readers. It launched as a website in December 2004 and has since grown into an immensely popular entertainment destination visited by over 1.5 million monthly unique readers. Generating over 18 million monthly page views, it is now a leading international celebrity gossip source and a must read for well-read, educated females across North America. Aside from securing hot tips and exclusive party access on its own, the site has benefited from the access associated with Lainey's role on CTV's etalk, which she joined in 2006 as a special correspondent. With etalk Lainey has covered the Red Carpet at the Oscars, SuperBowl XLII, Cannes and Toronto International Film Festivals, and other top tier events worldwide. In April of 2014 Lainey fulfilled a lifelong dream when her first book Listen to the Squawking Chicken: When a Mother Knows Best, What's a Daughter to Do? A Memoir (Sort Of) was published (by Random House in Canada and Penguin in the USA). Bored yet? If not, below is a selection of clippings from a handful of magazines and newspapers over the past few years. Need more? See the our full bio here (PDF format) or email press@laineygossip.com for more information. Buzzfeed, April 2021 Perez Hilton And Lainey Gossip Were Famous For Their Mean Blogs. Now They’re Trying To Change. By Saachi Koul ELLE Every day after I came home from high school, I’d run to my bedroom, turn on my enormous, whirring black Dell desktop, and read Perez Hilton — the up-to-the-minute celebrity gossip blog — for hours. 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Two years later, she quit her job to preside over the site full time, and she’s been a regular fixture in our pop-culture routine ever since... Link to full article Chatelaine, Sept 2019 Elaine Lui On Aging: Some Women Want To Embrace Their Wrinkles, But That's Not Me By Courtney Shea Chatelaine I’m on TV several times a week for The Social and etalk, and one of the things I’m constantly hearing from audience members or on social media is, “Cut that hair!”—that it’s too long for my age. First of all: If you had my hair, would you cut it?... Link to full article The Cut, Nov 2018 How I Get It Done: Elaine Lui of LaineyGossip Lisa Ryan The Cut You’d be hard-pressed to find anyone who understands gossip better than Elaine “Lainey” Lui, the Canadian maven behind LaineyGossip.com. She’s been running the site for more than a decade, and parlayed it into a career as an entertainment journalist.... Link to full article BBC News, Sept 2017 Canadian blogger Lainey Lui on why gossip is political By Jessica Murphy BBC Elaine "Lainey" Lui is keeping a sharp eye on Colin Farrell. The Irish actor is a few tables over in the lobby of a downtown hotel being interviewed for a film he's promoting at the Toronto International Film Festival (Tiff). The festival, which runs until 17 September, is a busy time for Lui.... Link to full article The Ringer, October 2016 Lainey Is Yours in Gossip: How a 12-year-old celebrity blog became essential again By Allison P. Davis The Ringer Elaine Lui has had her back to me for about 20 minutes, typing away on her Surface tablet. We're tucked into her broom closet of an office in Toronto's Bell Media complex, where Lui sits amid an immense but well-organized pile of stuff. A heap of designer shoes is stashed in a cubby; the walls are decorated in the style of collage-obsessed 19-year-old - there's a Slytherin banner on her front door... Link to full article Slate, July 2016 A Celebrity Gossip Expert Explains the Summer of Taylor Swift By Heather Schwedel Slate.com Taylor Swift is having quite the summer - from her breakup with Calvin Harris to the birth of Hiddleswift to Kim Kardashian's receipts-apalooza, plus or minus a Nils Sjoberg, she's been consistently dominating headlines. But what does it all mean? LaineyGossip.com is where many of the smart women I follow online turn for informed interpretation of the latest celebrity scandal... Link to full article The Walrus, March 2015 IN DEFENCE OF LOW CULTURE: And praise of love, hate, discovery, jealousy, obsession, betrayal, and mean-girling By Elaine Lui for The Walrus Talks Creativity walrus-speech-mar15.jpg Elaine Lui is a Canadian television personality, reporter, blogger, and author. She runs the celebrity-gossip website laineygossip.com, reports for CTV's etalk, co-hosts CTV's daily talk series The Social, and wrote the mother-daughter memoir Listen to the Squawking Chicken... Link to see video Toronto Life, November 2014 Toronto's 50 Most Influential: the people who changed the city in 2014 By Toronto Life toronto-life-nov14.jpg She's the quirkiest, funniest and most watchable member of The Social, CTV's answer to The View, and the active ingredient in its success. The show, now in its second season, reaches 2.4 million viewers weekly (up 300,000 from Season One) and has reeled in such high-watt guests as Katy Perry, Jessica Alba, Jane Lynch and Daniel Radcliffe. Her website, LaineyGossip, attracts... Link to full article FLARE May, 2014 Mother Clucker By Maureen Halushak flare-may2014.jpg In her new "sort of" memoir, Lainey Gossip's ELAINE LUI divulges her most personal scoop yet: the inner workings of her insanely close relationship with her mom, semi-affectionately known as the Squawking Chicken. Over dim sum, MAUREEN HALUSHAK observes the dynamic. Read on for the full experience, plus an exclusive excerpt... Link to full article){kind=link}