Category: Psychology

  • Luckiest Girl Alive book review|Lainey Gossip Books

    Luckiest Girl Alive book review|Lainey Gossip Books

    If You’re not following Lainey Gossip, may I suggest that you do. It’s all about pop culture including books, fashion, movies, celebrities, etc. with lots of fun videos including this one of Tom Cruise thanking people for seeing his latest movie Top Gun: Maverick while free falling from an airplane and talking on his way down. It’s all about getting the shot says Lainey, and he sure does.

    Here are a couple of posts from her site–and I mean who wouldn’t love a column titled Smutty Book Round-up?

    Here’s short bio from her website

    LaineyGossip.com is an entertainment news and gossip blog co-founded by Elaine “Lainey” Lui. The primary voice of LaineyGossip.com, she is also co-host of CTV’s daytime talk show “The Social”, and a reporter on CTV’s “etalk”, Canada’s number one rated entertainment news show.

    The site started as an email to small group of friends and colleagues in 2003 and spread by word of mouth to thousands of now loyal readers. It launched as a website in December 2004 and has since grown into an immensely popular entertainment destination visited by over 1.5 million monthly unique readers. Generating over 18 million monthly page views, it is now a leading international celebrity gossip source and a must read for well-read, educated females across North America.

    Aside from securing hot tips and exclusive party access on its own, the site has benefited from the access associated with Lainey’s role on CTV’s etalk, which she joined in 2006 as a special correspondent. With etalk Lainey has covered the Red Carpet at the Oscars, SuperBowl XLII, Cannes and Toronto International Film Festivals, and other top tier events worldwide.

    In April of 2014 Lainey fulfilled a lifelong dream when her first book Listen to the Squawking Chicken: When a Mother Knows Best, What’s a Daughter to Do? A Memoir (Sort Of) was published (by Random House in Canada and Penguin in the USA).

    Bored yet? If not, below is a selection of clippings from a handful of magazines and newspapers over the past few years.

    Need more? See the our full bio here (PDF format) or email press@laineygossip.com for more information.
    Buzzfeed, April 2021
    Perez Hilton And Lainey Gossip Were Famous For Their Mean Blogs. Now They’re Trying To Change.
    By Saachi Koul

    ELLE

    Every day after I came home from high school, I’d run to my bedroom, turn on my enormous, whirring black Dell desktop, and read Perez Hilton — the up-to-the-minute celebrity gossip blog — for hours. Paparazzi hunting young famous women and bloggers updating their whereabouts by the second created the feeling that every It girl in Los Angeles was publicly spiraling… Link to full article
    Toronto Star, Jan 2021
    TV sensation Lainey Lui’s dogs, Barney and Elvis, may the best-loved beagles in Toronto. You have to meet them
    By Jillian Vieira

    ELLE

    There are dog people, and then there’s Lainey Lui. Along with husband Jacek Szenowicz, she’s pet parent to Barney, 10, and Elvis, 5, a pair of brotherly beagles who The Social co-host, eTalk co-anchor and founder of LaineyGossip.com fully admits are beneficiaries of an ultra-spoiled situation… Link to full article
    ELLE Canada, May 2020
    15 Inspirational Asian Canadians to Know
    By Patricia Karounos and Hannah Zeigler

    ELLE

    All of our best gossip comes from Elaine Lui – or Lainey, as she is better known. The Toronto-born writer launched her eponymous blog, Lainey Gossip, in 2004 while still working at Vancouver’s Covenant House. Two years later, she quit her job to preside over the site full time, and she’s been a regular fixture in our pop-culture routine ever since… Link to full article
    Chatelaine, Sept 2019
    Elaine Lui On Aging: Some Women Want To Embrace Their Wrinkles, But That’s Not Me
    By Courtney Shea

    Chatelaine

    I’m on TV several times a week for The Social and etalk, and one of the things I’m constantly hearing from audience members or on social media is, “Cut that hair!”—that it’s too long for my age. First of all: If you had my hair, would you cut it?… Link to full article
    The Cut, Nov 2018
    How I Get It Done: Elaine Lui of LaineyGossip
    Lisa Ryan

    The Cut

    You’d be hard-pressed to find anyone who understands gossip better than Elaine “Lainey” Lui, the Canadian maven behind LaineyGossip.com. She’s been running the site for more than a decade, and parlayed it into a career as an entertainment journalist…. Link to full article
    BBC News, Sept 2017
    Canadian blogger Lainey Lui on why gossip is political
    By Jessica Murphy

    BBC

    Elaine “Lainey” Lui is keeping a sharp eye on Colin Farrell. The Irish actor is a few tables over in the lobby of a downtown hotel being interviewed for a film he’s promoting at the Toronto International Film Festival (Tiff). The festival, which runs until 17 September, is a busy time for Lui…. Link to full article
    The Ringer, October 2016
    Lainey Is Yours in Gossip: How a 12-year-old celebrity blog became essential again
    By Allison P. Davis

    The Ringer

    Elaine Lui has had her back to me for about 20 minutes, typing away on her Surface tablet. We’re tucked into her broom closet of an office in Toronto’s Bell Media complex, where Lui sits amid an immense but well-organized pile of stuff. A heap of designer shoes is stashed in a cubby; the walls are decorated in the style of collage-obsessed 19-year-old – there’s a Slytherin banner on her front door… Link to full article
    Slate, July 2016
    A Celebrity Gossip Expert Explains the Summer of Taylor Swift
    By Heather Schwedel

    Slate.com

    Taylor Swift is having quite the summer – from her breakup with Calvin Harris to the birth of Hiddleswift to Kim Kardashian’s receipts-apalooza, plus or minus a Nils Sjoberg, she’s been consistently dominating headlines. But what does it all mean? LaineyGossip.com is where many of the smart women I follow online turn for informed interpretation of the latest celebrity scandal… Link to full article
    The Walrus, March 2015
    IN DEFENCE OF LOW CULTURE: And praise of love, hate, discovery, jealousy, obsession, betrayal, and mean-girling
    By Elaine Lui for The Walrus Talks Creativity

    walrus-speech-mar15.jpg

    Elaine Lui is a Canadian television personality, reporter, blogger, and author. She runs the celebrity-gossip website laineygossip.com, reports for CTV’s etalk, co-hosts CTV’s daily talk series The Social, and wrote the mother-daughter memoir Listen to the Squawking Chicken… Link to see video
    Toronto Life, November 2014
    Toronto’s 50 Most Influential: the people who changed the city in 2014
    By Toronto Life

    toronto-life-nov14.jpg

    She’s the quirkiest, funniest and most watchable member of The Social, CTV’s answer to The View, and the active ingredient in its success. The show, now in its second season, reaches 2.4 million viewers weekly (up 300,000 from Season One) and has reeled in such high-watt guests as Katy Perry, Jessica Alba, Jane Lynch and Daniel Radcliffe. Her website, LaineyGossip, attracts… Link to full article
    FLARE May, 2014
    Mother Clucker
    By Maureen Halushak

    flare-may2014.jpg

    In her new “sort of” memoir, Lainey Gossip’s ELAINE LUI divulges her most personal scoop yet: the inner workings of her insanely close relationship with her mom, semi-affectionately known as the Squawking Chicken. Over dim sum, MAUREEN HALUSHAK observes the dynamic. Read on for the full experience, plus an exclusive excerpt… Link to full article

    https://www.laineygossip.com/Luckiest-Girl-Alive-book-review/Books/2063

  • The Panic Button Book: Press Now!

    The Panic Button Book: Press Now!

    Tammi Kirkness

             We’ve all been there. A deadline looming and your computer decides to go rogue. You call about a wrong charge on an account, our rooted around the world and back, repeating your story to four or five different people and then after waiting on hold for an hour are cut off. You run into a high school frenemy and find out s/he just signed a multi-million deal to a book about those high school days and how mean everyone was—giving you a knowing look.

             And that’s just the small stuff. But Tammi Kirkness has you covered when you’re hit with high stress situations. An Australian based life coach and wellness consultant as well as an international speaker, specializes in working with people who grapple with high functioning anxiety. That typically refers to those who seem to function well but are often overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy, are sure something bad is going to happen, compare themselves negatively to others, and tend to be workaholics and perfectionists. 

    To overcome anxieties, Kirkness incorporates well-researched and proven psychological treatments and Eastern techniques of reducing anxious states such as meditation and breathing from our core, sharing her insights in her extremely easy to use book, “The Panic Button Book: Relieve Stress and Anxiety Whenever They Strike” (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt 2020; $15.99).

             Kirkness has many characteristics of someone with high-functioning anxiety.

             “A big part of my journey was working way too hard, being a perfectionist and putting way too much pressure on myself,” she says.

             Not only wasn’t it good in the short time nor could she keep it up for a long time.

             “There are things that we can do to help calm down our nervous system and still create success with sustainability,” says Kirkness. “I think taking time to pause and do some soul searching is generally the first step.”

             Other components include learning to take deep breaths which are calming and relaxing. Journaling—putting your thoughts down on paper—and meditating (there are free online apps for that) also make a difference. But what I found most useful about the book were the Decision Trees Kirkness developed.

             Dividing the book into sections, she covers Living and Working, Socializing, Relationships, and Parenting. Each has related scenarios such as “Do you have a difficult conversation coming up,” “Do you feel your partner is taking more than giving?” and “Are you not reaching your own expectations?” Then on the opposite page are the techniques you can take to help.

             As an example, one decision tree starts with the question “Are you trying to make something perfect?” Her two-step activity to counteract the need for get something done is to remind yourself that done is better than perfect. The second is to establish a clear timeline on finishing such as I’m giving this another 40 minutes and then I’m sending it in.

             Not all are simple two-steps like the above, but all are designed to provide relief from the immediate anxiety of situations and produce feelings of being more in charge of your emotions.

  • Niksen: The Dutch Art of Doing Nothing

    Niksen: The Dutch Art of Doing Nothing

           “This isn’t getting the work of the world done,” my mother would announce to no one in particular whenever she had sat for more than a few minutes.  Whatever the work of the world was—and I never quite figured it out– since my mom had a full-time job, grew roses, looked after my grandmother who lived next door, took Judo classes, cooked Julia Child-style dinners, and co-led my Girl Scout Troop, it certainly meant she couldn’t sit around

           If only mom had met Olga Mecking, author of Niksen: The Dutch Art of Doing Nothing (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt 2021; $11.58 Amazon price).

           Niksen isn’t about getting the work of the world done. Indeed, it’s not about any work at all. Instead, niksen is doing nothing, according to Mecking. And no that doesn’t mean vegging out on the couch watching the entire last season of “Homecoming” or reading posts on Facebook.

    “It is doing nothing without a purpose,” she says. “I believe we’ve forgotten how to do things just because, not without any larger purpose like becoming healthier. We run or walk because we want to reach a certain number of steps and not because it feels good. The same way, we can do nothing because it feels nice and not because it will offer us certain benefits–even if it might.”

    Mecking, the mother of three children, who lives in the Netherlands and works as a translator and freelance writer, says doing nothing comes naturally to her.

    “As a child, I loved sitting around in my father’s favorite armchair and just daydreaming,” says Mecking. whose article on niksen in the New York Times garnered 150,000 shares in just a few days after it was published indicating an embrace of the concept.  “But since I became a mom, it became really hard to do nothing. But I also realized that I niks around quite a lot even if these are in-between moments like when I’m waiting for my kids to come home or taking the tram on the way to run some errands. So maybe I don’t have many long stretches of time. but I do have many short moments – enough to do nothing.”

    Not me. I often find myself repeating my mother’s phrase.  Though I continue to wonder what the work of the word really entails, I know that it won’t get done if I’m sitting. I ask Mecking, if I’ll ever be able to shed my past and be able to niks?

       “It can be very hard, and I think especially for women, it can be even harder,” says Mecking about the struggle to just do nothing. “Simply because we do more work that’s unpaid and unsatisfying. Men protect their own free time and women protect men’s free time and kids’ free time, but no one protects the free time of women.”

       But there’s hope.

       “I think it would help us to re-frame doing nothing and to think of it as something valuable,” she says. “For example, if you can tell yourself that if you do nothing now then you can do better work later on, that’s already a big step. If we can learn to value niksen and downtime and taking time off the same way as we value work that would be great.  We can try reframing doing nothing and describe it as something that we need, like food or water. Think about it. Our bodies can’t work all day long without a break, no? The same way, our brains can’t either. It is impossible to expect people to be working with their brains all day long, be it at work or at home.”

           But whether you can niks or not niks, it’s okay says Mecking.

       “Sometimes it just doesn’t work,” she says. “Maybe it won’t work for you. It doesn’t mean that you’re a loser. You have to find a way to relax that works for you, and if that’s doing nothing then awesome, but if that’s going for a run that is great too! But if you want to try niksen, start slow, and take a look at how you spend your time. You might find that you do more nothing that you realize.”

  • THE 17TH ANNUAL BEST BOOK AWARDS ANNOUNCE 2020 AWARD RECIPIENTS

    THE 17TH ANNUAL BEST BOOK AWARDS ANNOUNCE 2020 AWARD RECIPIENTS

    American Book Fest has announced the winners and finalists of The 2020 Best Book Awards.
    Awards were presented for titles published in 2018-2020.

    Jeffrey Keen, President and CEO of American Book Fest said this year’s contest yielded over 2,000 entries from mainstream and independent publishers. These were then narrowed down to over 400 winners and finalists in 90 categories.

    “The 2020 results represent a phenomenal mix of books from a wide array of publishers throughout the United States,” says Keen about the awards, now in their 18th year.
    Winners and finalists traversed the publishing landscape: HarperCollins, Penguin/Random House, John Wiley and Sons, Routledge/Taylor and Francis, Forge, Hay House, Sounds True, Llewellyn Worldwide, NYU Press, Oxford University Press, John Hopkins University Press, The White House Historical Association and hundreds of Independent Houses contribute to this year’s outstanding competition.

    “Our success begins with the enthusiastic participation of authors and publishers and continues with our distinguished panel of industry judges who bring to the table their extensive editorial, PR, marketing, and design expertise,” says Keen.

    American Book Fest is an online publication providing coverage for books from mainstream and independent publishers to the world online community.

    American Book Fest has an active social media presence with over 135,000 current Facebook fans.


    Highlights Include the Following Winning Titles:
    (Full Results are Available Here.)

    Click on category headings to be taken directly to full book descriptions! Winners and Finalists are featured at the top of each page.

    Animals/Pets: General

    The Balanced Pet Sitter: What You Wish you Knew Before Starting Your Pet Care Business by Renée Stilson
    Equilibre Press, LLC

    Animals/Pets: Narrative Non-Fiction
    The Chimpanzee Chronicles: Stories of Heartbreak and Hope from Behind the Bars by Debra Rosenman
    Wild Soul Press

    Anthologies: Non-Fiction
    This Moment Bold Voices from WriteGirl by Keren Taylor
    WriteGirl PublicationsArt

    C. Curry Bohm: Brown County and Beyond edited by Daniel Kraft & Jim Ross
    Indiana University Press

    Autobiography/Memoir
    Through My Eyes: CSI Memoirs That Haunt the Soul by Tamara Mickelson
    Self-Published

    Best Cover Design: Fiction
    The Last Lumenian by S.G. Blaise
    The Last Lumenian

    Best Cover Design: Non-Fiction
    When God Says NO – Revealing the YES When Adversity and Pain Are Present by Judith Briles
    Mile High Press

    Best Interior Design
    Beautiful Living: Cooking the Cal-a-Vie Health Spa Way by Terri Havens
    Cal-a-Vie Health Spa

    Best New Fiction
    In An Instant by Suzanne Redfearn
    Lake Union

    Best New Non-Fiction
    The Book of Help: A Memoir of Remedies by Megan Griswold
    Rodale Books/Penguin Random House

    Biography
    T.R.M. Howard: Doctor, Entrepreneur, Civil Rights Pioneer by David T. Beito and Linda Royster Beito
    Independent Institute

    Business: Careers
    TIP: A Simple Strategy to Inspire High Performance and Lasting Success by Dave Gordon
    John Wiley and Sons

    Business: Communications/Public Relations
    The Apology Impulse: How the Business World Ruined Sorry and Why We Can’t Stop Saying It by Cary Cooper & Sean O’Meara
    Kogan Page

    Business: Entrepreneurship & Small Business
    Burdens of a Dream: 33 Actionable Nuggets of Wisdom for the Creative Entrepreneur by Craig M. Chavis Jr.
    Author Academy Elite

    Business: General
    The Simplicity Principle: Six Steps Towards Clarity in a Complex World by Julia Hobsbawm
    Kogan Page

    Business: Management & Leadership
    The Future Leader: 9 Skills and Mindsets to Succeed in the Next Decade by Jacob Morgan
    Wiley

    Business: Marketing & Advertising
    The End of Marketing: Humanizing Your Brand in the Age of Social Media and AI by Carlos Gil
    Kogan Page

    Business: Motivational
    Unlock!: 7 Steps to Transform Your Career and Realize Your Leadership Potential by Abhijeet Khadikar
    Vicara Books

    Business: Personal Finance/Investing
    Enhancing Retirement Success Rates in the United States: Leveraging Reverse Mortgages, Delaying Social Security, and Exploring Continuous Work by Chia-Li Chien, PhD, CFP®, PMP®
    Palgrave Pivot

    Business: Real Estate
    Market Forces: Strategic Trends Impacting Senior Living Providers by Jill J. Johnson
    Johnson Consulting Services

    Business: Reference
    The Non-Obvious Guide to Virtual Meetings and Remote Work (Non-Obvious Guides) by Rohit Bhargava
    IdeaPress Publishing

    Business: Sales
    The Visual Sale: How to Use Video to Explode Sales, Drive Marketing, and Grow Your Business in a Virtual World by Marcus Sheridan
    IdeaPress Publishing

    Business: Technology
    Amazon Management System: The Ultimate Digital Business Engine That Creates Extraordinary Value for Both Customers and Shareholders by Ram Charan and Julia Yang
    IdeaPress Publishing

    Business: Writing/Publishing
    Great Stories Don’t Write Themselves: Criteria-Driven Strategies for More Effective Fiction by Larry Brooks
    Writer’s Digest Books (a division of Penguin Random House)

    Children’s Educational
    Galileo! Galileo! by Holly Trechter and Jane Donovan
    Sky Candle Press

    Children’s Fiction
    Nutmeg Street: Egyptian Secrets by Sherrill Joseph
    Acorn Publishing

    Children’s Mind/Body/Spirit
    The Tooth Fairy’s Tummy Ache by Lori Orlinsky
    Mascot Books

    Children’s Non-Fiction
    President’s Play! illustrated by John Hutton, text by Jonathan Pliska
    The White House Historical Association

    Children’s Novelty & Gift Book
    Bubble Kisses by Vanessa Williams, illustrated by Tara Nicole Whitaker
    Sterling Publishing

    Children’s Picture Book: Hardcover Fiction
    Bubble Kisses by Vanessa Williams, illustrated by Tara Nicole Whitaker
    Sterling Publishing

    Children’s Picture Book: Hardcover Non-Fiction
    A-B-Skis: An Alphabet Book About the Magical World of Skiing by Libby Ludlow, illustrated by Nathan Y. Jarvis
    Libby Ludlow

    LLCChildren’s Picture Book: Softcover Fiction
    Frankie the Ferret by Kimberley Paterson
    FriesenPress

    Children’s Picture Book: Softcover Non-Fiction
    Fridays With Ms. Mélange: Haiti by Jenny Delacruz
    Cobbs Creek Publishing

    Children’s Religious
    That Grand Christmas Day! by Jill Roman Lord, illustrated by Alessia Trunfio
    Worthy Kids

    College Guides
    Diversity At College: Real Stories of Students Conquering Bias and Making Higher Education More Inclusive by James Stellar, Chrisel Martinez, Branden Eggan, Chloe Skye Weiser, Benny Poy, Rachel Eagar, Marc Cohen, and Agata Buras
    IdeaPress Publishing

    Cookbooks: General
    Recipes from the President’s Ranch: Food People Like to Eat by Matthew Wendel
    The White House Historical Association

    Cookbooks: International
    Cooking with Marika: Clean Cuisine from an Estonian Farm by Marika Blossfeldt
    Delicious Nutrition

    Cookbooks: Regional
    The Perfect Persimmon: History, Recipes, and More by Michelle Medlock Adams
    Red Lightning

    BooksCurrent Events
    In All Fairness: Equality, Liberty, and the Quest for Human Dignity, edited by Robert M. Whaples, Michael C. Munger and Christopher J. Coyne
    Independent Institute

    Education/Academic
    The EQ Intervention: Shaping a Self-Aware Generation Through Social and Emotional Learning by Adam L. Saenz, PhD
    Greenleaf Book Group

    Fiction: African-American
    Once in a Blood Moon by Dorothea Hubble Bonneau
    Acorn Publishing

    Fiction: Anthologies
    Terror at 5280′ edited by Josh Schlossberg
    Denver Horror Collective

    Fiction: Cross-Genre
    Mourning Dove by Claire Fullerton
    Firefly Southern Fiction

    Fiction: Fantasy
    The Hollow Gods (The Chaos Cycle Series, ) by A.J. Vrana
    The Parliament House Press

    Fiction: General
    Bread Bags & Bullies: Surviving the ’80’s by Steven Manchester
    Luna Bella Press

    Fiction: Historical
    The Takeaway Men by Meryl Ain
    SparkPress

    Fiction: Horror
    The Vanishing by Arjay Lewis
    Mindbender Press

    Fiction: Inspirational
    The Menu by Steven Manchester
    Luna Bella Press

    Fiction: LGBTQ
    Even Weirder Than Before by Susie Taylor
    Breakwater Books

    Fiction: Literary
    How Fires End by Marco Rafalà
    Little A

    Fiction: Multicultural
    Subduction by Kristen Millares Young
    Red Hen Press

    Fiction: Mystery/Suspense
    Strong From The Heart by Jon Land
    Forge

    Fiction: New Age
    Catalyst by Tracy Richardson
    Brown Books Publishing

    Fiction: Novelette
    When Angels Paint: A Milford-Haven Holiday Novelette by Mara Purl
    Bellekeep Books

    Fiction: Novella
    When the Heart Listens: A Milford-Haven Novella by Mara Purl
    Bellekeep Books

    Fiction: Religious
    The Longest Day by Terry Toler
    BeHoldings Publishing

    Fiction: Romance
    What the Heart Wants by Audrey Carlan
    HQN

    Fiction: Science Fiction
    Killing Adam by Earik Beann
    Profoundly One Publishing

    Fiction: Short Story
    Oranges by Gary Eldon Peter
    New Rivers Press

    Fiction: Thriller/Adventure
    The President’s Dossier by James A. Scott
    Oceanview Publishing

    Fiction: Visionary
    Journey of a JuBu by Blaine Langberg
    Critical Eye

    Fiction: Western
    Moccasin Track by Reid Lance Rosenthal
    Rockin’ SR Publishing

    Fiction: Women’s Fiction
    Appearances by Sondra Helene
    She Writes Press

    Fiction: Young Adult
    The Return of the Dragon Queen by Farah Oomerbhoy
    Wise Ink Creative Publishing

    Health: Addiction & Recovery
    Stepping Stones: A Memoir of Addiction, Loss, and Transformation by Marilea C. Rabasa
    She Writes Press

    Health: Aging/50+
    EIGHTSOMETHINGS: A Practical Guide to Letting Go, Aging Well, and Finding Unexpected Happiness by Katharine Esty, PhD
    Skyhorse Publishing

    Health: Alternative Medicine
    Have a Peak at This: Synergize Your Body’s Clock Towards a Highly Productive You by Said Hasyim
    Self-Published

    Health: Cancer
    All Of Us Warriors: Cancer Stories of Survival and Loss by Rebecca Whitehead Munn
    She Writes
    Press

    Health: Death & Dying
    Aftermath: Picking Up the Pieces After a Suicide by Gary Roe
    Healing Resources Publishing

    Health: Diet & Exercise
    Whole Person Integrative Eating: A Breakthrough Dietary Lifestyle to Treat Root Causes of Overeating, Overweight and Obesity by Deborah Kesten, MPH and Larry Scherwitz, PhD
    White River Press

    Health: General
    True Wellness for Your Gut: Combine the best of Western and Eastern medicine for optimal digestive and metabolic health by Catherine Kurosu, MD, L.Ac. and Aihan Kuhn, CMD, OBT
    YMAA Publication Center

    Health: Medical Reference
    The Ultimate College Student Health Handbook: Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness by Jill Grimes, MD
    Skyhorse Publishing

    Health: Psychology/Mental Health
    The Big Bliss Blueprint: 100 Little Thoughts to Build Positive Life Changes by Shell Phelps
    Positive Streak Publishing,

    LLCHealth: Women’s Health
    The Book of Help: A Memoir of Remedies by Megan Griswold
    Rodale Books/Penguin Random House

    History: General
    Gun Control in Nazi-Occupied France: Tyranny and Resistance by Stephen P. Halbrook
    Independent Institute

    History: Military
    40 Thieves on Saipan The Elite Marine Scout-Snipers in One of WWII’s Bloodiest Battles by Joseph Tachovsky with Cynthia Kraack
    Regnery History

    History: United States
    Liberty in Peril: Democracy and Power in American History by Randall G. Holcombe
    Independent Institute

    Home & Garden
    My Creative Space: How to Design Your Home to Stimulate Ideas and Spark Innovation by Donald M. Rattner
    Skyhorse Publishing

    Humor
    Struggle Bus: The Van. The Myth. The Legend. by Josh Wood
    Lucid Books

    Law
    Banned: Immigration Enforcement in the Time of Trump by Shoba Sivaprasad Wadhia
    NYU Press

    LGBTQ: Non-Fiction
    Our Gay History in 50 States by Zaylore Stout
    Wise Ink Creative Publishing

    Multicultural Non-Fiction
    Overcoming Ordinary Obstacles: Boldly Claiming the Facets of an Extraordinary Life by Nesha Pai
    SPARK

    PublicationsNarrative: Non-Fiction
    Sola: One Woman’s Journey Alone Across South America by Amy Field
    WanderWomyn Publishing

    New Age: Non-Fiction
    Embodying Soul: A Return to Wholeness by Keri Mangis
    Curiosa Publishing, LLC

    Novelty & Gift Book
    The Official White House Christmas Ornament: Collected Stories of a Holiday Tradition by Marcia Anderson and Kristen Hunter Mason
    The White House Historical Association

    Parenting & Family
    Why Will No One Play with Me? The Play Better Plan to Help Children of All Ages Make Friends and Thrive by Caroline Maguire, PCC, M.Ed. with Teresa Barker
    Grand Central

    PublishingPerforming Arts: Film, Theater, Dance, Music
    THAT GUY: a stage play by Peter Anthony Fields
    Amazon

    Photography
    Beautiful Living: Cooking the Cal-a-Vie Health Spa Way by Terri Havens
    Cal-a-Vie Health Spa

    Poetry
    Five Oceans in a Teaspoon, poems by Dennis J. Bernstein, visuals by Warren Lehrer
    Paper Crown Press

    Religion: Christian Inspirational
    Extraordinary Hospitality for Ordinary Christians: A Radical Approach to Preparing Your Heart & Home for Gospel-Centered Community by Victoria Duerstock
    Good Books

    Religion: Christianity
    Come Fill This Place: A Journey of Prayer by Stacy Dietz
    KP Publishing Company

    Religion: Eastern
    Secrets of Divine Love: A Spiritual Journey into the Heart of Islam by A. Helwa
    Naulit Publishing House

    Religion: General
    Esoterism as Principle and as Way: A New Translation with Selected Letters by Frithjof Schuon
    World Wisdom

    Science
    Bliss Brain: The Neuroscience of Rewiring Your Brain for Resilience, Creativity and Joy by Dawson Church
    Hay House

    Self-Help: General
    Start Finishing: How to Go from Idea to Done by Charlie Gilkey
    Sounds True

    Self-Help: Motivational
    Edge: Turning Adversity into Advantage by Laura Huang
    Portfolio

    Self-Help: Relationships
    The Remarriage Manual: How to Make Everything Work Better the Second Time Around by Terry Gaspard
    Sounds True

    Social Change
    I Am Not Your Enemy: Stories to Transform a Divided World by Michael T. McRay
    Herald Press

    Spirituality: General
    The Universe Is Talking to You: Tap Into Signs and Synchronicity to Reveal Magical Moments Every Day by Tammy Mastroberte
    Llewellyn Worldwide

    Spirituality: Inspirational
    Spark Change: 108 Provocative Questions for Spiritual Evolution by Jennie Lee
    Sounds

    TrueSports
    The Martial Arts of Vietnam: An Overview of History and Styles by Augustus John Roe
    YMAA Publication Center

    Travel: Guides & Essays
    Exploring Wine Regions — Bordeaux France: Discover Wine, Food, Castles, and The French Way of Life by Michael C. Higgins, PhD
    International Exploration Society

    True Crime: Non-Fiction
    Beast of New Castle by Larry Sells & Margie Porter
    WildBlue Press

    Women’s Issues
    Muslim Women Are Everything: Stereotype-Shattering Stories of Courage, Inspiration, and Adventure by Seema Yasmin, illustrated by Fahmida Azim
    Harper Design, an Imprint of HarperCollins Publishers

    Young Adult: Non-Fiction
    My Life, My Way: How To Make Exceptional Decisions About College, Career, and Life by Elyse Hudacsko
    Self-Published
  • THE 17TH ANNUAL BEST BOOK AWARDS ANNOUNCE 2020 AWARD RECIPIENTS

    Mainstream & Independent Titles Score Top Honors in the 17th Annual Best Book Awards

     HarperCollins, Penguin/Random House, John Wiley and Sons, Routledge/Taylor and Francis, Forge, Sterling Publishing, Hay House, Sounds True, Llewellyn Worldwide, NYU Press, Oxford University Press, John Hopkins University Press, The White House Historical Association and hundreds of Independent Houses contribute to this year’s Outstanding Competition!

    Highlights Include the Following Winning Titles: (Full Results are Available Here.)

    Click on category headings to be taken directly to full book descriptions! Winners and Finalists are featured at the top of each page! 

    Animals/Pets: General
    The Balanced Pet Sitter: What You Wish you Knew Before Starting Your Pet Care Business by Renée Stilson
    Equilibre Press, LLC

    Animals/Pets: Narrative Non-Fiction
    The Chimpanzee Chronicles: Stories of Heartbreak and Hope from Behind the Bars by Debra Rosenman
    Wild Soul Press

    Anthologies: Non-Fiction
    This Moment Bold Voices from WriteGirl by Keren Taylor
    WriteGirl Publications

    Art
    C. Curry Bohm: Brown County and Beyond edited by Daniel Kraft & Jim Ross
    Indiana University Press

    Autobiography/Memoir
    Through My Eyes: CSI Memoirs That Haunt the Soul by Tamara Mickelson
    Self-Published

    Best Cover Design: Fiction
    The Last Lumenian by S.G. Blaise
    The Last Lumenian

    Best Cover Design: Non-Fiction
    When God Says NO – Revealing the YES When Adversity and Pain Are Present by Judith Briles
    Mile High Press

    Best Interior Design
    Beautiful Living: Cooking the Cal-a-Vie Health Spa Way by Terri Havens
    Cal-a-Vie Health Spa

    Best New Fiction
    In An Instant by Suzanne Redfearn
    Lake Union

    Best New Non-Fiction
    The Book of Help: A Memoir of Remedies by Megan Griswold
    Rodale Books/Penguin Random House

    Biography
    T.R.M. Howard: Doctor, Entrepreneur, Civil Rights Pioneer by David T. Beito and Linda Royster Beito
    Independent Institute

    Business: Careers
    TIP: A Simple Strategy to Inspire High Performance and Lasting Success by Dave Gordon
    John Wiley and Sons

    Business: Communications/Public Relations
    The Apology Impulse: How the Business World Ruined Sorry and Why We Can’t Stop Saying It by Cary Cooper & Sean O’Meara
    Kogan Page

    Business: Entrepreneurship & Small Business
    Burdens of a Dream: 33 Actionable Nuggets of Wisdom for the Creative Entrepreneur by Craig M. Chavis Jr.
    Author Academy Elite

    Business: General
    The Simplicity Principle: Six Steps Towards Clarity in a Complex World by Julia Hobsbawm
    Kogan Page

    Business: Management & Leadership
    The Future Leader: 9 Skills and Mindsets to Succeed in the Next Decade by Jacob Morgan
    Wiley

    Business: Marketing & Advertising
    The End of Marketing: Humanizing Your Brand in the Age of Social Media and AI by Carlos Gil
    Kogan Page

    Business: Motivational
    Unlock!: 7 Steps to Transform Your Career and Realize Your Leadership Potential by Abhijeet Khadikar
    Vicara Books

    Business: Personal Finance/Investing
    Enhancing Retirement Success Rates in the United States: Leveraging Reverse Mortgages, Delaying Social Security, and Exploring Continuous Work by Chia-Li Chien, PhD, CFP®, PMP®
    Palgrave Pivot

    Business: Real Estate
    Market Forces: Strategic Trends Impacting Senior Living Providers by Jill J. Johnson
    Johnson Consulting Services

    Business: Reference
    The Non-Obvious Guide to Virtual Meetings and Remote Work (Non-Obvious Guides) by Rohit Bhargava
    IdeaPress Publishing

    Business: Sales
    The Visual Sale: How to Use Video to Explode Sales, Drive Marketing, and Grow Your Business in a Virtual World by Marcus Sheridan
    IdeaPress Publishing

    Business: Technology
    Amazon Management System: The Ultimate Digital Business Engine That Creates Extraordinary Value for Both Customers and Shareholders by Ram Charan and Julia Yang
    IdeaPress Publishing

    Business: Writing/Publishing
    Great Stories Don’t Write Themselves: Criteria-Driven Strategies for More Effective Fiction by Larry Brooks
    Writer’s Digest Books (a division of Penguin Random House)

    Children’s Educational
    Galileo! Galileo! by Holly Trechter and Jane Donovan
    Sky Candle Press

    Children’s Fiction
    Nutmeg Street: Egyptian Secrets by Sherrill Joseph
    Acorn Publishing

    Children’s Mind/Body/Spirit
    The Tooth Fairy’s Tummy Ache by Lori Orlinsky
    Mascot Books

    Children’s Non-Fiction
    President’s Play! illustrated by John Hutton, text by Jonathan Pliska
    The White House Historical Association

    Children’s Novelty & Gift Book
    Bubble Kisses by Vanessa Williams, illustrated by Tara Nicole Whitaker
    Sterling Publishing

    Children’s Picture Book: Hardcover Fiction
    Bubble Kisses by Vanessa Williams, illustrated by Tara Nicole Whitaker
    Sterling Publishing

    Children’s Picture Book: Hardcover Non-Fiction
    A-B-Skis: An Alphabet Book About the Magical World of Skiing by Libby Ludlow, illustrated by Nathan Y. Jarvis
    Libby Ludlow LLC

    Children’s Picture Book: Softcover Fiction
    Frankie the Ferret by Kimberley Paterson
    FriesenPress

    Children’s Picture Book: Softcover Non-Fiction
    Fridays With Ms. Mélange: Haiti by Jenny Delacruz
    Cobbs Creek Publishing

    Children’s Religious
    That Grand Christmas Day! by Jill Roman Lord, illustrated by Alessia Trunfio
    Worthy Kids

    College Guides
    Diversity At College: Real Stories of Students Conquering Bias and Making Higher Education More Inclusive by James Stellar, Chrisel Martinez, Branden Eggan, Chloe Skye Weiser, Benny Poy, Rachel Eagar, Marc Cohen, and Agata Buras
    IdeaPress Publishing

    Cookbooks: General
    Recipes from the President’s Ranch: Food People Like to Eat by Matthew Wendel
    The White House Historical Association

    Cookbooks: International
    Cooking with Marika: Clean Cuisine from an Estonian Farm by Marika Blossfeldt
    Delicious Nutrition

    Cookbooks: Regional
    The Perfect Persimmon: History, Recipes, and More by Michelle Medlock Adams
    Red Lightning Books

    Current Events
    In All Fairness: Equality, Liberty, and the Quest for Human Dignity, edited by Robert M. Whaples, Michael C. Munger and Christopher J. Coyne
    Independent Institute

    Education/Academic
    The EQ Intervention: Shaping a Self-Aware Generation Through Social and Emotional Learning by Adam L. Saenz, PhD
    Greenleaf Book Group

    Fiction: African-American
    Once in a Blood Moon by Dorothea Hubble Bonneau
    Acorn Publishing

    Fiction: Anthologies
    Terror at 5280′ edited by Josh Schlossberg
    Denver Horror Collective

    Fiction: Cross-Genre
    Mourning Dove by Claire Fullerton
    Firefly Southern Fiction

    Fiction: Fantasy
    The Hollow Gods (The Chaos Cycle Series, ) by A.J. Vrana
    The Parliament House Press

    Fiction: General
    Bread Bags & Bullies: Surviving the ’80’s by Steven Manchester
    Luna Bella Press

    Fiction: Historical
    The Takeaway Men by Meryl Ain
    SparkPress

    Fiction: Horror
    The Vanishing by Arjay Lewis
    Mindbender Press

    Fiction: Inspirational
    The Menu by Steven Manchester
    Luna Bella Press

    Fiction: LGBTQ
    Even Weirder Than Before by Susie Taylor
    Breakwater Books

    Fiction: Literary
    How Fires End by Marco Rafalà
    Little A

    Fiction: Multicultural
    Subduction by Kristen Millares Young
    Red Hen Press

    Fiction: Mystery/Suspense
    Strong From The Heart by Jon Land
    Forge

    Fiction: New Age
    Catalyst by Tracy Richardson
    Brown Books Publishing

    Fiction: Novelette
    When Angels Paint: A Milford-Haven Holiday Novelette by Mara Purl
    Bellekeep Books

    Fiction: Novella
    When the Heart Listens: A Milford-Haven Novella by Mara Purl
    Bellekeep Books

    Fiction: Religious
    The Longest Day by Terry Toler
    BeHoldings Publishing

    Fiction: Romance
    What the Heart Wants by Audrey Carlan
    HQN

    Fiction: Science Fiction
    Killing Adam by Earik Beann
    Profoundly One Publishing

    Fiction: Short Story
    Oranges by Gary Eldon Peter
    New Rivers Press

    Fiction: Thriller/Adventure
    The President’s Dossier by James A. Scott
    Oceanview Publishing

    Fiction: Visionary
    Journey of a JuBu by Blaine Langberg
    Critical Eye

    Fiction: Western
    Moccasin Track by Reid Lance Rosenthal
    Rockin’ SR Publishing

    Fiction: Women’s Fiction
    Appearances by Sondra Helene
    She Writes Press

    Fiction: Young Adult
    The Return of the Dragon Queen by Farah Oomerbhoy
    Wise Ink Creative Publishing

    Health: Addiction & Recovery
    Stepping Stones: A Memoir of Addiction, Loss, and Transformation by Marilea C. Rabasa
    She Writes Press

    Health: Aging/50+
    EIGHTSOMETHINGS: A Practical Guide to Letting Go, Aging Well, and Finding Unexpected Happiness by Katharine Esty, PhD
    Skyhorse Publishing

    Health: Alternative Medicine
    Have a Peak at This: Synergize Your Body’s Clock Towards a Highly Productive You by Said Hasyim
    Self-Published

    Health: Cancer
    All Of Us Warriors: Cancer Stories of Survival and Loss by Rebecca Whitehead Munn
    She Writes Press

    Health: Death & Dying
    Aftermath: Picking Up the Pieces After a Suicide by Gary Roe
    Healing Resources Publishing

    Health: Diet & Exercise
    Whole Person Integrative Eating: A Breakthrough Dietary Lifestyle to Treat Root Causes of Overeating, Overweight and Obesity by Deborah Kesten, MPH and Larry Scherwitz, PhD
    White River Press

    Health: General
    True Wellness for Your Gut: Combine the best of Western and Eastern medicine for optimal digestive and metabolic health by Catherine Kurosu, MD, L.Ac. and Aihan Kuhn, CMD, OBT
    YMAA Publication Center

    Health: Medical Reference
    The Ultimate College Student Health Handbook: Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness by Jill Grimes, MD
    Skyhorse Publishing

    Health: Psychology/Mental Health
    The Big Bliss Blueprint: 100 Little Thoughts to Build Positive Life Changes by Shell Phelps
    Positive Streak Publishing, LLC

    Health: Women’s Health
    The Book of Help: A Memoir of Remedies by Megan Griswold
    Rodale Books/Penguin Random House

    History: General
    Gun Control in Nazi-Occupied France: Tyranny and Resistance by Stephen P. Halbrook
    Independent Institute

    History: Military
    40 Thieves on Saipan The Elite Marine Scout-Snipers in One of WWII’s Bloodiest Battles by Joseph Tachovsky with Cynthia Kraack
    Regnery History

    History: United States
    Liberty in Peril: Democracy and Power in American History by Randall G. Holcombe
    Independent Institute

    Home & Garden
    My Creative Space: How to Design Your Home to Stimulate Ideas and Spark Innovation by Donald M. Rattner
    Skyhorse Publishing

    Humor
    Struggle Bus: The Van. The Myth. The Legend. by Josh Wood
    Lucid Books

    Law
    Banned: Immigration Enforcement in the Time of Trump by Shoba Sivaprasad Wadhia
    NYU Press

    LGBTQ: Non-Fiction
    Our Gay History in 50 States by Zaylore Stout
    Wise Ink Creative Publishing

    Multicultural Non-Fiction
    Overcoming Ordinary Obstacles: Boldly Claiming the Facets of an Extraordinary Life by Nesha Pai
    SPARK Publications

    Narrative: Non-Fiction
    Sola: One Woman’s Journey Alone Across South America by Amy Field
    WanderWomyn Publishing

    New Age: Non-Fiction
    Embodying Soul: A Return to Wholeness by Keri Mangis
    Curiosa Publishing, LLC

    Novelty & Gift Book
    The Official White House Christmas Ornament: Collected Stories of a Holiday Tradition by Marcia Anderson and Kristen Hunter Mason
    The White House Historical Association

    Parenting & Family
    Why Will No One Play with Me? The Play Better Plan to Help Children of All Ages Make Friends and Thrive by Caroline Maguire, PCC, M.Ed. with Teresa Barker
    Grand Central Publishing

    Performing Arts: Film, Theater, Dance, Music
    THAT GUY: a stage play by Peter Anthony Fields
    Amazon

    Photography
    Beautiful Living: Cooking the Cal-a-Vie Health Spa Way by Terri Havens
    Cal-a-Vie Health Spa

    Poetry
    Five Oceans in a Teaspoon, poems by Dennis J. Bernstein, visuals by Warren Lehrer
    Paper Crown Press

    Religion: Christian Inspirational
    Extraordinary Hospitality for Ordinary Christians: A Radical Approach to Preparing Your Heart & Home for Gospel-Centered Community by Victoria Duerstock
    Good Books

    Religion: Christianity
    Come Fill This Place: A Journey of Prayer by Stacy Dietz
    KP Publishing Company

    Religion: Eastern
    Secrets of Divine Love: A Spiritual Journey into the Heart of Islam by A. Helwa
    Naulit Publishing House

    Religion: General
    Esoterism as Principle and as Way: A New Translation with Selected Letters by Frithjof Schuon
    World Wisdom

    Science
    Bliss Brain: The Neuroscience of Rewiring Your Brain for Resilience, Creativity and Joy by Dawson Church
    Hay House

    Self-Help: General
    Start Finishing: How to Go from Idea to Done by Charlie Gilkey
    Sounds True

    Self-Help: Motivational
    Edge: Turning Adversity into Advantage by Laura Huang
    Portfolio

    Self-Help: Relationships
    The Remarriage Manual: How to Make Everything Work Better the Second Time Around by Terry Gaspard
    Sounds True

    Social Change
    I Am Not Your Enemy: Stories to Transform a Divided World by Michael T. McRay
    Herald Press

    Spirituality: General
    The Universe Is Talking to You: Tap Into Signs and Synchronicity to Reveal Magical Moments Every Day by Tammy Mastroberte
    Llewellyn Worldwide

    Spirituality: Inspirational
    Spark Change: 108 Provocative Questions for Spiritual Evolution by Jennie Lee
    Sounds True

    Sports
    The Martial Arts of Vietnam: An Overview of History and Styles by Augustus John Roe
    YMAA Publication Center

    Travel: Guides & Essays
    Exploring Wine Regions — Bordeaux France: Discover Wine, Food, Castles, and The French Way of Life by Michael C. Higgins, PhD
    International Exploration Society

    True Crime: Non-Fiction
    Beast of New Castle by Larry Sells & Margie Porter
    WildBlue Press

    Women’s Issues
    Muslim Women Are Everything: Stereotype-Shattering Stories of Courage, Inspiration, and Adventure by Seema Yasmin, illustrated by Fahmida Azim
    Harper Design, an Imprint of HarperCollins Publishers

    Young Adult: Non-Fiction
    My Life, My Way: How To Make Exceptional Decisions About College, Career, and Life by Elyse Hudacsko
    Self-Published

  • Laziness Does Not Exist: Drilling Down on Procrastination

    Laziness Does Not Exist: Drilling Down on Procrastination

             “This isn’t getting the work of the world done,” my mother used to tell me when I was young and talking on the phone to friends instead of cleaning my room or putting away the dishes or whatever else needed to be done. I still don’t know exactly what the work of the world is, but it sounds so ominously important it made me believe that my laziness was in some ways contributing to world failure.  

             Her words still echo through my life. Even now, though I know that world will go on even if I watch a whole night’s worth of “Downtown Abbey” episodes, I remember what my mother said and I turn off the T.V.

             Now, after reading “Laziness Does Not Exist” (Atria 2020; $27) by Devon Price, PhD, a Clinical Assistant Professor, Loyola University Chicago, I may reconsider that long ago lesson.

             “Laziness does not exist means there is no slothful, shameful feeling inside of us called laziness that is to blame when we fail or disappoint someone or simply lack motivation,” says Price after I ask him to define the book’s title.  “There are always structural, external factors as well as inner personal struggles that explain why someone is not meeting goals.”

    Instead, Price says that often when someone is written off as lazy, the problem is actually that they’ve been asked to do far too much, and not given credit for the immense work that they are doing.

     “Fighting depression is a full time job,” he says. “Raising children in a global pandemic is a full-time job. Taking a full course load while working a job is too much to deal with flawlessly. So many people are overwhelmed and overworked, yet because they have been asked to do more than they can handle, these incredibly ambitious people are branded as lazy.” 

    So how do we deal with these feelings?

    Price recommends first observing the situation neutrally while trying to determine where the feeling is coming from and what do you have to learn from it.

    “Sometimes, we lack motivation to do something because the task just does not matter to us — so ask yourself, do I really have to do this task? Does it matter to me, or have I just been told that I should do it? When someone is feeling lazy and beating themselves up for it, that is almost always a sign they need to cut a bunch of obligations out of their life, so they have time to rest and reorient themselves, to focus on their true priorities. “

            Self-efficacy, a confidence in one’s own ability to get things done, also comes into play.

    Price describes this as a very grounded form of confidence — the confidence in one’s own capabilities.

    “When a person has high self-efficacy for a particular skill or task, they trust their instincts, and know how to break a large task down into smaller parts, so they’re way less likely to get stuck in doubt, perfectionism, or inhibition,” he says.  “A lot of times when someone is struggling or procrastinating such as failing to write a paper for class, for example, it’s because they don’t trust themselves to do it well enough, or they don’t know how to take the big project and divide it into tiny bites. Unfortunately, we live in a very perfectionistic culture where lots of teachers and managers micro-manage and nitpick the people they are supposed to be mentoring, so we actually destroy a lot of people’s self-efficacy in the process. “

    Price believes that we also need to act like all human lives have equal value and deserve equal support with no proof needed.

    “On a more personal level, we need to approach other people with generosity and trust,” he says.  “I don’t need proof that a person on the corner asking for change deserves my money. I can trust that if he’s in that spot, he clearly needs it, and I don’t get to decide what his needs at that moment look like or how he lives his life. In general, we need to stop policing one another and viewing all needs and limitations as suspicious.” 

    What: Devon Price Virtual Events

    When: Thursday, February 25 at 7 p.m. CT

    7:00 PM CT                                                   

    Hosted by Loyola University / Chicago

    Link to join in: https://luc.zoom.us/j/87434549563

  • A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder

    Neatniks: Stand down — there is meaning in messiness

    Some scientists think that in life, as in nature, a little disorder signifies flexibility, improvisation

    My mother was so neat that we never even had a junk drawer — that catchall most families use for things they don’t know what to do with.

    Her sister, my Aunt Janice, completely was different. She lived in a big rambling house on the Deep River in Hobart and bred cocker spaniels who had the full run of the house. It was sometimes difficult to find a clean dish, and dog hairs seemed to float in the air before descending to cover everything.

    “Aunt Janice wants you to spend a week with her in July,” my mother would say. “Is that OK?”

    Of course it was, as order and neatness were never my strong suit. And even, today, decades later, though I don’t have 12 dogs bounding through the house and my dishes always are clean or at least in the dishwasher, I am more akin to my aunt than my mother when it comes to order.

    And I always feel guilty about it. Neatness is a virtue, disorder a sin.

    Though my mother never said anything when she would come to visit, she sometimes would ask if she could organize my canned goods.

    But I’ve taken a new view of my life after talking to David Freedman, co-author of “A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder — How crammed closets, cluttered offices and on-the-fly planning make the world a better place” (Little, Brown).

    So after shoving aside a pile of papers so I could find a place to take notes, I listened avidly to what Freedman had to say.

    “The idea came from left field, a little more than 10 years ago,” said Freedman, who co-authored the book with Eric Abrahamson, a professor of management at Columbia Business School.

    “I came upon a physicist who had discovered that adding randomness makes a system work better.”

    The physicist told Freedman scientists usually try to take randomness out when developing systems.

    “But it turns out with everywhere in nature, particularly in the human brain, there is a lot of randomness,” Freedman said.

    “If you reduce the randomness, the brain doesn’t work as well.”

    In other words, messiness is random, or a lack of order. But it’s even better.

    Smart and important people are messy, or should we say organizationally challenged.

    “Einstein was a total mess,” Freedman said.

    “Arnold Schwarzenegger lived his life in a very messy way. Even in body building he was one of the people who pioneered the mixing up in the way you lifted weights. He always advocated that way. Until then, body builders did the same repetitions over and over. He’s also random in his life. Is he a body builder, an actor or a politician? Is he a Democrat or a Republican?”

    Being neat is about doing things a certain way, and messiness is about improvising, being flexible, Freedman told me. We both agreed that people with absolutely empty desks made us nervous.

    “It turns out that when you take a look at the problems the messiness causes, except for the guilt, there are really no problems associated with it,” he said.

    “People spend an average of nine minutes a day looking for things, while people who are really neat often spend more time trying to figure where they put things.

    “Our clutter on our desk and around us have a personality, and it’s almost as if there’s a system to it that is very well suited to the way we think. That’s why the messy are pretty good at finding things. There’s a bit of a method to our messiness. There is meaning.”

    Freedman, who lives in Needham, Mass., and has authored several other books including “Brainmakers: How Scientists Are Moving Beyond Computers to Create a Rival to the Human Brain,” emphasizes though it was initially science that lead him to write this book, it’s not a scientific book. But he did do extensive research.

    “There is one scientist at Boston University who discovered that old people keep their balance better if they wear vibrating shoes,” he said. “The reason is that it is sending random signals to the brain through the feet.”

    His research also revealed that many people feel guilt and shame about their messiness in America.

    “We really do envy those neat people,” he said.

    “Neat people have become heroes in our society. Messy people are seen as weak people, people who fall short. It gets reinforced by our parents, our teachers and our colleagues.”

    Though there’s vindication — and relief — for paper stackers, there is a reason for order, too.

    “Even we messy people need to straighten up, and there is an appeal to order,” Freedman said.

    “Messiness is comfortable and natural and works well, and neatness also has its appeals. The message is to find the right balance for you.

    “When you hear it, it sounds rather obvious, but up until now you have heard that neatness is better.”

    Tips for Dealing with Clutter

    Since “A Perfect Mess” isn’t a license to never pick anything up again, author David Freedman offers advice on managing clutter without stifling creativity.

    * Take it slow and in small steps: If people see too much clutter, they think of picking everything up. But you don’t have to do it that way — that’s paralyzing to people. Do it a pile at a time over days or weeks.

    * Don’t throw it out: Instead of thinking you have to get rid of all this mess, maybe you can just put it in neat piles or in a closet or in a drawer. And it’s OK to have messy closets.

    * Understand it’s not permanent: People think you have to remain neat after picking up. But you don’t. You can save your periods of neatness for when you’re not under deadline or a certain time of month.

    * Your whole abode doesn’t have to be a clutter-free zone: Don’t feel you have to be well organized everywhere. You can be messy one place.

    * Living with a neat freak: Freedman advocates that families compromise on messy issues instead of constantly arguing. People constantly argue with their family members. Neat people have to ease up a little bit and messy people have to clean up a little.

    Debunking the neat freaks

    In a chapter from their book “A Perfect Mess,” authors Eric Abrahamson and David Freedman look at three suggestions commonly presented to help people get organized — and then debunk them.

    The suggestions:

    1. Use colored labels on your files, and cut filing time in half.

    2. Given that there are 37 hours of unfinished work on the average desk at any one time, buy “filing solution” products and get the work off your desk.

    3. Buy a quality label maker to print your file labels, because 72 percent of people who print file labels end up wasting time wrestling with jammed or stuck labels in printers.

    Their comeback:

    1. Because whatever information a colored label might convey also could be conveyed with a word, the most time that a colored label could save you is whatever time you save by glancing at a color rather than reading a word, perhaps a half second for very slow readers.

    If you spend three hours a day filing, then saving a half second per label examined will save you one and a half hours, or half your time, only if you examine the labels of 10,800 files in those three hours — in other words, if you spend just about all your time examining file labels. One could imagine unusual situations where a color scheme might save several minutes at a shot, as, for example, if there were a need to find the only green-coded file in a vast sea of red-coded files, or if the entire population of yellow-coded files had to be pulled.

    But since most filing work involves not just looking at file labels but also examining files’ contents, doing things with the contents of files, walking to and from filing cabinets, and creating new files, the time saved with colored labels will be just a tiny portion of the total filing work. This will come as a relief to the roughly 8 percent of people who are color-blind.

    2. This advice seems meant to imply you have saved yourself 37 hours of work by clearing your desk. But if you have 37 hours of unfinished work, and the work then gets filed, don’t you end up with 37 hours of unfinished work now hidden away in files instead of at hand on your desk? Plus, you’ve spent a chunk of time filing it — not to mention the time spent buying filing-solution products.

    3. Other research indicates that 0 percent of people who don’t bother printing labels for their files spend a single minute wrestling with jammed or stuck file labels.

  • Darling Rose Gold

    Darling Rose Gold

             Poor Patty Watts. She did everything she could for her daughter Rose Gold who was confined to a wheelchair, allergic to everything and struggled with an unbelievable number of health issues beginning at birth. Patty couldn’t work because she devoted herself to her daughter’s care. Luckily neighbors were kind, holding fundraisers and helping Patty anyway they could. She was described as a supermom.

             Only she wasn’t. Instead, she was constantly feeding Rose Gold ipecac, making her vomit and manipulating doctors like getting one to put the two-year-old girl on a feeding tube and then not giving her the amount of food she needed. All this was to ensure that Rose Gold would remain gravely ill. When she was discovered, Patty went from a hero to prison, where she spent five years for aggravated child abuse. Rose Gold, in the meantime, had a child and learned to live on her own. Then Patty was released from prison and needed a place to live. Would Rose take her in? And what would happen when she did?

             That’s the question Chicago native Stephanie Wrobel asks in her recently released book, “Darling Rose Gold,” a tense thriller that opens with Rose Gold picking her mother up from prison.

             Wrobel was intrigued by stories told by her best friend, a school psychologist, about Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy (MSBP).

             “The mother-daughter bond is supposed to be sacred,” says Wrobel, in a phone call from England where she has lived for the last few years. “But that’s not the case in MSBP, a mental health disorder where a caregiver fakes or induces illness in the person they’re taking care of. The more research I did on the subject, the more fascinated and appalled I became. In most cases, the perpetrators are mothers acting out of a need for attention or love from authority figures within the medical community.” 

             Wanting to get into the head of both the victim and the perpetrator, Wrobel tells the story of mother and daughter from both points of view. Patty, it seems, has developed such an impenetrable armor, she’s unable to see the evil she’s done. Rose Gold, tougher now, wants to pay back those who have done her harm. But, as they say, it’s complicated.

  • Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

    Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

    Totally unexpectedly, Lori Gottlieb’s long term boyfriend, the man she thought she’d marry, made a succinct and ultimately devastating statement, saying he didn’t “want to live with a kid in the house for the next ten years” and then he was gone.

    Lori Gottlieb

    Suddenly, Gottlieb, a psychotherapist who writes the weekly “Dear Therapist” advice column for The Atlantic, had to deal with her own issues as well as those of her clients, a process she chronicles in her very engaging Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt 2019; $28).

    The clients include John, a married man with two children and a very successful career as a television producer who pays Gottlieb in cash because he doesn’t want his wife to know he’s in therapy.

    “You’ll be like my mistress,” he tells her at the end of their first therapy session. “Or, actually, more like my hooker. No offense, but you’re not the kind of woman I’d choose as a mistress . . . if you know what I mean.”

    Another patient, newly married, had achieved tenure at her university and after years of hard work, was eager to become a parent.

    “She was accomplished, generous, and adored by colleagues, friends, and family. She was the kind of person who enjoyed running marathons and climbing mountains and baking silly cakes for her nephew,” writes Gottlieb. 

    The client, Julie, overcomes cancer once and then six years later receives the news it has reoccurred, and she has a year or so to live.

    “One of the themes of the book is that our stories form the core of our lives and give them deeper meaning,” says Gottlieb, whose book was recently optioned for television by Eva Longoria for 20th TV. “Sharing these stories is essentially about one person saying to another: This is who I am? Can you understand me?”

    But even for therapists, it’s scary to reveal ourselves to others and that’s what Gottlieb, who speaks about relationships, parenting, and hot-button mental health topics on such shows as The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Dr. Phil, CNN, and NPR, discovered when she found a professional to talk to about her fractured relationship. Despite her understanding that’s it’s important to be truthful, she, like all of us, edit the truth.

    “Clients make a choice about what to leave in, what to leave out as well as how to frame the situation in the way they want me to hear it,” says Gottlieb who found herself doing just the same. “One of the things with my therapist that I did that my clients do to me, is I wanted him to like me, I want him to like me better than others in the waiting room. That’s why we don’t always tell our therapists our secrets. We don’t realize the ways we get in out way in the therapy room is the way we get in the way in our own lives.”

    Gottlieb describes people as emotionally hiding out.

    “People carry out their pain, they think they can compartmentalize,” she says. “I see so much loneliness in the people who come to see me, people are really stressed out.”

    Texting and social media sometimes stop us from being together and communicating. That’s why therapy can help people change largely because as they grow in connection with others in a way often lost in our fast-paced, technology-driven culture.

    But change is scary, both for Gottlieb in her personal therapy sessions that she chronicles and for her clients who we follow as they come to grips with their issues in her office.

    “I thought it was important to put myself out there with this book,” says Gottlieb, noting that the book was very difficult to write. “Therapists are real people and we have our own struggles. We’re all members of the human race.”

     Ifyougo:

    What: Author Lori Gottlieb and Amy Dickinson, who writes the syndicated advice column, Ask Amy, discuss Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

    When: Monday, April 8 from 6-7:15pm 

    Where: Harold Washington Library Center, 400 S. State St., Chicago IL

    Cost: Free

    FYI: (312) 747-4300; chipublib.bibliocommons.com

    Gottlieb will also be interviewed by Dr. Alexandra Solomon of Northwestern University and author of Loving Bravely on Tuesday, April 9 at 7pm at New Trier High School, Cornog, 7 Happ Road, Winnetka, IL. Cost: Free. Sponsored by The Book Stall. 847-446-8880; thebookstall.com